Each week, we select an issue that was submitted by a SmartGirl and post it as an Advice Poll. These are the results from one of our polls.
A SmartGirl submitted the following issue:
Why Did He Cheat On Me?
Dating
He cheated on me for three years, and I didn't know. When he told me, I broke down crying! Why did he do it???
KayKay, age 13
SmartGirls voted on the following options:
This chart shows how SmartGirls voted in the poll:
The majority of SmartGirls voted that KayKay should "Move on," followed by "Make him talk." No SmartGirls voted for "Just cry."
These SmartGirls had more to say:
Why do people cheat? Is there ever an excuse worth hearing? How do you move on after someone you cared about hurt you? Do you have any advice to help KayKay?
Thanks to all of you who gave your advice! Please give your advice for this week's issue.
We hope that by sharing these issues and SmartGirls' responses to them, we will help you think through your own issues and prepare for the future. In the end, it's your decision, so make the choice that's right for you! Good luck!
The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.
Reading the Bar Graph:
To read the bar graph, match the height of each bar with the number on the left (y-axis). That's the number of people who chose that category. You can find the name of the category listed below each bar (x-axis). The title of the bar graph is the same as the title of the issue.
Tracie, age 16, says:
I know a lot of guys who hurt their girlfriends' feelings and I saw this one girl cheating on her boyfriend for 3 guys. My vote is to ask him why he cheated, but don't, DON'T cry because you are not the reason, he is, and you shouldn't take it like that. Turn indepenent, and if you want to go back out with him, you are going in the wrong direction; think about what was the worst thing of why he cheated on you and make a list of why you should and shouldn't date him, and if that doesn't work, play a stress-free movie like mediation. It helped me with a guy I wanted to be with.
Mimi, age 17, says:
You're really young! You still have your whole life ahead of you! Yes, you were with him for three years, and it must really hurt. But, there are so many better boys out there, and you'll meet the right one for you.
Ivy, age 18, says:
You're 13. And you're saying he cheated on you for 3 years? Seriously? Move on, dear.
Michiyo, age 17, says:
If he cheated, he must have not been into you as much as you thought. Ask him about it and if you dont like the answer, end it, or if you're willing, give him one more chance and see if he means it when he says he wants to be with you.
Maddison, age 15, says:
Dear KayKay,
There are a lot of factors in this relationship that I do not know, and therefore cannot possibly assess of the reason of the cheating. But I can tell you one thing: do not blame yourself. Some guys, especially in their teen years when their hormones are raging, can feel the urge to have several girls swooning over them to satisfy their many lusts. What I'm basically saying is the cheating was all for his selfish needs. It's probably not the best idea to get an excuse from him, but if he offers one, listen to him, but in your mind, don't acknowledge it. He knows he has done something wrong and the excuse is probably his way of justifying it to himself. Move on, sister. Some day another guy will come in your life who won't cheat.