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We hope that by sharing these issues and SmartGirls' responses to them, we will help you think through your own issues and prepare for the future. In the end, it's your decision, so make the choice that's right for you! Good luck!
How To React?
Harrassment
Hey, My name's Mariana. I'm 14 and I'm from Uruguay. I started high school three years ago. Last year, my classmates started making jokes about me, calling me names and things like that. It's because I always get the best marks, and I don't like the same things they like (e.g, the music). Last year, I tried to not think about it, but the jokes are daily now and even more people participate. Classes finish in December. What should I do until December?
Mariana, age 14
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![How to react? Ignore it [21]; Ask them to stop [11]; Talk to an adult [15]; Be friendly [17]](charts/issueresults15.jpg)
| Category | Votes | Description |
| Ignore It | 21 | You know that focusing on school is more than your social life right now. What you're doing already is right: ignore it. You only have a few more months. You can do it! |
| Ask Them To Stop | 11 | Next time someone mocks you, turn to them and ask them to stop because their words are hurting your feelings. Tell them you would rather be left alone. You can change things one person at a time. |
| Talk To An Adult | 15 | Talk to an adult about what is going on at school. Teachers can address the cruelty in an assembly or at least protect you in the halls and the classroom. |
| Be Friendly | 17 | Your peers just don't understand you. Reach out to someone friendly and find something in common. You can be smart and have friends just by smiling and saying, "Hello." |
Many SmartGirls had more to say. Consider their perspectives, but in the end the decision is yours, so do what's best for you! Here's their advice:
I have had the same problem. I did two things: first I ignored it. Then I asked them to stop and a couple weeks later they started hanging out with me.
Finish in December? Focus on your work, get your head down. I know people say "Ignore them." They are correct, but it can get hard. Basically you want to get them back by saying something like "Well at least I'll get a job instead of living on nothing." That is a rubbish thing to say, but you need to show them up, basically, and let them know they're in the wrong for saying what they're saying. Kind of make them realise reality. Make sure they know that one day you will go far.
They are idiots. They just don't understand that everyone is different. They are probably jealous that you get the best marks, which is why they are calling you names and taking the mick. They are trying to make you stop working so hard, but you can't do this. Keep working hard. At the end of the day, you're the one who's going to get a great job when you're older! :) x
Your classmates are probably just jealous of your intelligence and your ability to be yourself without feeling the need to conform to the "norm." They need to learn to respect your own unique preferences and styles/tastes. I encourage you to ignore their teasing and focus on the most important part of school: learning and doing the best you can in all your subjects. Explore friendships with people who respect you and do not participate in the teasing. If it ever gets to a point where you feel uncomfortable or threatened, do not hesitate to tell a teacher or administrator! Good luck!
Try to loosen up a bit. When they make a joke about you, laugh it off. Eventually when they see it doesn't bother you anymore they'll stop. If not, at least you'll get a laugh out of it, and that will help you ignore it a bit.
Think about it: they are picking on you for smart, so apparently they're just jealous because they go home with bad grades and get in trouble for it. So brush it off is my advice.
I know how you feel. I went through the same thing. Ignore it. Try to make jokes out of it. You can do it! Make friends. Just believe in yourself like I believe in you.
They are just trying to be funny and impress other people. You should confront them and tell them to please stop and show them the real you. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Once they see who you really are, they will love you and they will stop.
Go girl! You can do it! Even me at school, if someone is teasing me, I defend myself by words. And if they are too much, I pull their hair, even if they are boys! And I can teach you one word for you to defend yourself, and this word can be popular in your school. The word is ISTORYAHH (IZ-TUR-YAH-HI). It's a Spanish-Bisaya word!
OK, just try to ignore them as much as you can. Don't let the jokes get to you. I know how you feel inside. I once had people say mean and cruel things about me. I just want you to know that they are just saying those things to bring you down and to make themselves feel better. I hope I helped your problem :)
Hey Mariana,
I gathered from what you wrote that you seem to be far more mature than your classmates. It is going to feel very lonely getting good grades and being reprimanded instead of praised by your peers. The truth is that they are probably just scared and acting out against you. Not personally, but what you represent, which is brilliance and maturity. People can find this intimidating. Don't change it, though! You keep on going to school knowing that in the end, and yes it will take years to play out, but your grades and integrity will (and this is a sure thing) pay off.
You have the same situation as I do. I get great grades and hate the "popular" things that everyone else likes. I always remind myself that these people who pick on me are only doing it because they are jealous or feel like me being different could threaten them somehow. So try to talk to them. Ask them what it is about you that they don't like and try to explain to them that you're human, too, and even if they think it's cool to pick on you, it hurts a lot.
You could try switching to another class if that's possible. Another alternative is to just pretend that you think what they say about you is funny by taking what they say light-heartedly. Try laughing and saying stuff like, "Oh, I agree, haha" whenever they tease you. If they think that you find what they're doing is amusing, it defeats their purpose and they'll just go away.
Just tell them that you know what you are and you're a better person, and tell them you have more stuff to do than feel bad because of mean people. Ignore them and then more people will start to understand.
Hey Marina, I have been in those times, but I ignore them. They get mad and stop. Otherwise, kick their ass, OK? You can do it. By the way I am from Ethipia. Bye bye.
You too be mean to them! I had a problem like this, but I stood up to them. They may continue. Then talk to an adult.
This happens to me, too. I just go with the flow and tell the right person how I feel. It usually helps. Also, try bonding with them more so they can understand you more and won't make jokes anymore. Try it, trust me!
Ignore them! They probably want to be in your shoes, so don't pay much attention to them even if it's hard. Instead of them laughing at you, you laugh with them and say, "Hey, that one was funny." Maybe you'll make a new friend or two [:! Don't let them pull you down! Let them act childish and YOU show them who the mature one is in that school :]! Hope it works!
Also I would ignore it, too, but talking to an adult about it seems the best.
Also you could tell an aldult or a teacher. If they still bother you and all that, then ignore it. It doesn't matter what they say. The only thing that matters if you just focus and tell or ignore it :)
Try to ignore it. But if that doesn't work, then just ask them to stop. Also you might want to tell a teacher if they keep doing it or if it gets worse.
Hun, those people are just jealous of you. They all want to make the smarter kids feel stupid inside. They know how to get to you, and sometimes ignoring them when they do this is the best solution. Maybe if they don't stop, kindly ask them to stop. You could play the game I sometimes play because I get picked on as well. Laugh when they mock you. Say something silly and ignorant. Like if you get a good grade, be all like, "Wow, how can such a dumb kid like me get such a great grade?" They won't understand why you are saying that and may get freaked out by it because sometimes people aren't very bright. The best way to get people off your back is to go, "What did you say?" over and over until they stop talking to you. It works for me. It might work for you. And if they still persist in calling you names, tell a teacher about it. Or just simply ignore them.
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The advice represented on this page is the opinion of SmartGirl users who have responded to last week's Issue of the Week. It is not the opinion of SmartGirl.org or the University of Michigan.